(Theme: “Missing pages” By: Seventh day slumber)
Quote: “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8 NLT)
Decisions:
Growing up as an only child it was probably natural that I felt a bit lonely. However my coping mechanism for life when it got to hard or upsetting. Was to check out of reality. At first that was through silly kid things; like pretending my right hand was a character and my left hand another character and having them talk to each other, argue and fight and stuff. Later it became video games and playing with toys. Then just day dreaming and totally checking out. To this day I have some difficulty not zoning out during long speeches or meetings. I don’t even do it intentionally. I will hear something and my mind will go off thinking about something that was triggered by what was said.
Needless to say I’ve mostly been a very introspective person. As such I would think about weird things, deep things, scary things and overwhelming things. Things that would send me into near panic attacks. One of the things I thought the most about was; 'Why can people feel alone even when others were around them?'. To this day I don’t fully have an adequate answer, but I can say I have a decent one. Intimacy. Now I don’t just mean romantic or sexual, but just a deep connection. When I had intimate relationships that fed me I didn’t feel lonely even when I was alone! However the less I had it the more lonely I felt.
This was when I discovered the online world that was full of people like me who desired to have deep connections with others through like passions. Namely writing online together. (AKA Roleplaying/RP). I also realized some of these people were very hopeless, not seeing a point in living or very angry wanting to hurt others. Then there were the predators who sought to take advantage of others and lastly those that were just lost in the sea of data. I wanted to do something, to be a part of this community that few really value and understand.
I sought to make friends, to be a light. No matter how small. Be someone who values them, all of them. Who understands that the sad need comfort, the angry are hurting, the predators though they need to be stopped only act from their own wounded-ness, and those lost need to know they can be found. I wanted everyone to know that they are loved, they are not alone, they are special! No one is like them. Among the billions on this planet no one can be identically wired, gifted, skilled, talented. No one! They are the only 'them' this world will ever know and if they were to leave the world without functioning in the amazing way they were created to... the world would be missing a key piece of the puzzle and made lesser for it.
It is only by understanding my relationship with Jesus Christ that I have been able to see my value. To see that I’m worth more than what others would label. Some places will sell a slave for $23. Other’s treat women like cattle. Many will say that “The human body is only worth a few dollars of chemicals and dirt” These are all lies however!
First, the human body is by far more complex than any machine in existence to date and is still being copied and yet has never been matched. Second that silly thing that says we are only worth a few bucks or even $23? In one eye, just one there is a substance if extracted is worth thousands of dollars. not to mention the complexity of the brain, the heart, the lungs, reproductive organs. That's before we take the unique thoughts, feelings, perspective, spirit and soul only you have. Nothing can compare with the complexity and value of you.
Then the final point. How do we assign value? What it costs to make something? If that were true books wouldn’t be more than about a dollar or two worth of paper and binding. The time it took to make something? Then books would be worth hundreds of dollars for many authors spend hundreds of hours working on it, or how about a baby. 9 months in the womb? So in the end the cost is decided by what one is willing to pay for it. Take beanie babies for example; about $2.50 worth of material and beans (or less), sell for typically $8-$10, however not too long ago 1 beanie baby sold online for hundreds of dollars.
It’s original value was $8-$10, but in the end that wasn’t it’s value. Not what it cost to make, time it took or even the popular believed price. It was what one was willing to pay for it. In the same way God said each and every one of us is so valuable, you are so valuable that He sent His Son, Jesus to come to earth and die. Pay the ultimate price for you. To save you from a life with no interaction with Him.
Like someone that owns land, if you never build anything on it then it doesn’t do anything, but sit. We also need to know that we 'own' land. We have to receive what was bought for us, accept that we are valued far beyond jewels and rubies, far more important than fads or organizations. You are who God set’s His heart on, He wants a relationship with you. With me.
When I realized this I was blown away and awed. He loves me that much? He didn’t require me to join a group, to sign my name, to pay a dime or even to perform any jobs or tricks. Simply Accept that I need to be saved, Believe in my heart that He died and rose again for me, Receive Him as Savior and Confess it with my mouth.
So no matter how flawed and imperfect I am, or how many times I mess up. I want to be here; scars, pimples, bad hair days and all. To show everyone that they are loved, they are not alone and if He can do it for me? He most certainly can do it for them!
Needless to say I’ve mostly been a very introspective person. As such I would think about weird things, deep things, scary things and overwhelming things. Things that would send me into near panic attacks. One of the things I thought the most about was; 'Why can people feel alone even when others were around them?'. To this day I don’t fully have an adequate answer, but I can say I have a decent one. Intimacy. Now I don’t just mean romantic or sexual, but just a deep connection. When I had intimate relationships that fed me I didn’t feel lonely even when I was alone! However the less I had it the more lonely I felt.
This was when I discovered the online world that was full of people like me who desired to have deep connections with others through like passions. Namely writing online together. (AKA Roleplaying/RP). I also realized some of these people were very hopeless, not seeing a point in living or very angry wanting to hurt others. Then there were the predators who sought to take advantage of others and lastly those that were just lost in the sea of data. I wanted to do something, to be a part of this community that few really value and understand.
I sought to make friends, to be a light. No matter how small. Be someone who values them, all of them. Who understands that the sad need comfort, the angry are hurting, the predators though they need to be stopped only act from their own wounded-ness, and those lost need to know they can be found. I wanted everyone to know that they are loved, they are not alone, they are special! No one is like them. Among the billions on this planet no one can be identically wired, gifted, skilled, talented. No one! They are the only 'them' this world will ever know and if they were to leave the world without functioning in the amazing way they were created to... the world would be missing a key piece of the puzzle and made lesser for it.
It is only by understanding my relationship with Jesus Christ that I have been able to see my value. To see that I’m worth more than what others would label. Some places will sell a slave for $23. Other’s treat women like cattle. Many will say that “The human body is only worth a few dollars of chemicals and dirt” These are all lies however!
First, the human body is by far more complex than any machine in existence to date and is still being copied and yet has never been matched. Second that silly thing that says we are only worth a few bucks or even $23? In one eye, just one there is a substance if extracted is worth thousands of dollars. not to mention the complexity of the brain, the heart, the lungs, reproductive organs. That's before we take the unique thoughts, feelings, perspective, spirit and soul only you have. Nothing can compare with the complexity and value of you.
Then the final point. How do we assign value? What it costs to make something? If that were true books wouldn’t be more than about a dollar or two worth of paper and binding. The time it took to make something? Then books would be worth hundreds of dollars for many authors spend hundreds of hours working on it, or how about a baby. 9 months in the womb? So in the end the cost is decided by what one is willing to pay for it. Take beanie babies for example; about $2.50 worth of material and beans (or less), sell for typically $8-$10, however not too long ago 1 beanie baby sold online for hundreds of dollars.
It’s original value was $8-$10, but in the end that wasn’t it’s value. Not what it cost to make, time it took or even the popular believed price. It was what one was willing to pay for it. In the same way God said each and every one of us is so valuable, you are so valuable that He sent His Son, Jesus to come to earth and die. Pay the ultimate price for you. To save you from a life with no interaction with Him.
Like someone that owns land, if you never build anything on it then it doesn’t do anything, but sit. We also need to know that we 'own' land. We have to receive what was bought for us, accept that we are valued far beyond jewels and rubies, far more important than fads or organizations. You are who God set’s His heart on, He wants a relationship with you. With me.
When I realized this I was blown away and awed. He loves me that much? He didn’t require me to join a group, to sign my name, to pay a dime or even to perform any jobs or tricks. Simply Accept that I need to be saved, Believe in my heart that He died and rose again for me, Receive Him as Savior and Confess it with my mouth.
So no matter how flawed and imperfect I am, or how many times I mess up. I want to be here; scars, pimples, bad hair days and all. To show everyone that they are loved, they are not alone and if He can do it for me? He most certainly can do it for them!
